Moving Past frustration

In our recent black belt class, the topic of frustration came up and how most of us have been at that point in our training. This has been true for me especially in this last while. The most recent events have been my hip and shoulder issues which are severely limiting what I am able to do and when I try to do more, it is painful. I should be smarter but I almost feel like I need to push through so I don’t fall to far behind.

Looking back though, the frustration started even before as I have missed so much training due to life circumstances. In 2016, I parted ways with the company I was working for and it was great for my Kung Fu as I had lots of free time. I then started consulting in February of 2017 and then started to travel for work in 2018. Back then, there was no online class and no one on ones. I was isolated for over half the year and I remember one year, being gone 40 weeks out of the year. That is a lot of time to be away.

Then came Covid and that changed things even more. No live classes even when I was home and the connection was almost completely gone then. Even after we came back, the Kwoon seemed different to me. The classes had changed and I was no longer instructing my own classes anymore. My travel schedule did not allow it but I started to question my place in SRKF for the first time.

Work travel continued and I started to attend online when I could but the drive for me felt like it was gone. I missed most if not all of the Broadsword and Butterfly Swords as they were introduced. When I did make it, I was always trying to catch up and this just fueled the frustration.

Somewhere along the way, I was able to get my motivation back and it was probably joining the I Ho Chuan team 3 years ago. That really helped me engage again and also forced me to start taking my training more serious.

There is still frustration sometimes as I still feel behind in some areas but I know I am a lot further along than I was. I do know the Broadsword and Butterfly Swords as they were my requirements this year along with a Grappling Form. The Broadsword is further along then the Butterfly as that was my main priority but I am now working on both as they both still continue to need refinement. The grappling form continues to evolve as well as I continue to practice it and it will continue to do so.

I still have questions sometimes about what my place in SRKF is. However, the question is more directed at myself as to what I need to do and where I need to focus my training. I will probably continue to have questions but I think those will help me continue to evolve.

Pains and Progress

I have been ha lot of issues and pain with my right shoulder and hip these last couple of months and it is getting worse as time goes on. The shoulder is an issue that occurred a few years ago and gets better then comes back but this time is worse I believe. The hip issue is something that started about three months ago and has been getting worse. It is even to the point where it is painful to lie on or sleep with.

Needless to say, I have had to start modifying my Kung Fu but I Think it is suffering for it so I am looking at alternative and more permanent solutions. I have booked a doctor’s appointment but it will not be to the new year. At least it is a starting point.

On a positive note, I have been able to work on the grappling form to refine and clarify some concepts thanks to Sihing Kobe Csillag. It has been great to put some of the techniques that are branches of the form/sequence into practice. The thing I am finding is that some of these are actually easier to explain and demonstrate than they were in the past and I think that is just because my experiences with doing grappling has advance my knowledge as well. I do look forward to where we will be able to take this form as we continue to work together.

Trying To Get By

This has been an off week for me as I have been extremely busy with work. Actually, that is not the reason at all. I have been distracted by some things happening with my mom. Last year she had a heart attack and had to have 3 stents put in. Only 1 was successful so she has had some issues since then. She had to go for testing this last week and will get the results on Monday. She is scared as she doesn’t want to have to go for surgery again and I can’t blame her.

I have been trying to not dwell on it, but it keeps creeping back into my mind. I don’t know what I am exactly feeling but it is somewhere between fear and acceptance. She has been through a rough year and I sometimes wonder what more I can do. I know when the time comes, I will regret not trying harder so I do what I can now.

This kind of went down a dark road and this is more for myself to help me remember where I was at this point in my life.

The End But Not The End I Hope

This past weekend was the last of my Sanda Seminar and I am going to miss it. I learned a lot about myself in how I move and how I improved over the 6 weeks. The last class started the same with some footwork warmup drills and then moving into some takedown drills. I had the participants switch up partners because of a recent blog by Todai Ferris where she talked about the difference in working with a different partner. I think the change made it more challenging but also more rewarding for them.

I was also asked if they would do actual sparring in the seminar and the answer was no. It was something I had planned on maybe doing at the end but I didn’t think it was the best use of time. If you have 2 combatants and 5 judges, the rest of the participants are standing around and watching. They would have got something out of this but I think they got more out of actually doing something.

The drill we worked on was a shoot with a double leg takedown. This drill was great because it has footwork, centering, energy transfer, skeletal alignment and follow-through with commitment. Hopefully everyone saw the value of this technique and I will be at the next open training if anyone wants to ask questions or would like to work on some specifics.

The Week that I Wish Wasn't

It has been a rough few days for me and I have been not wanting to talk about it but I also want to talk about it.

I had to attend a funeral on Saturday for my Uncle. Then 2 days after on the 10th was the day my dad had passed away a few years ago. I tried to think off something else to right about but nothing was coming so I just figure this is what I needed to do. There is a unique relationship with this uncle and it was a native ceremony. I will expand on this in my next blog I think

Form Reps

I came to a realization this past few days that I have let some bad habits sneak into my forms and I need to start removing them. The way I am doing this is mindful practice while evaluating every move in the form. This has slowed my repetitions down but is providing some great insights.

My goal for form reps this week was not met but I did get more reps in than I have been so it was successful in that aspect. I am going to keep the same goal for my I Ho Chuan forms this week and see if I get closer as this week.

A Weakness

I am still trying to catch up on projects from the summer that didn’t get finished because I was away for work so much more it seemed like this year, I have been lucky that the weather has been not too bad so far and hopefully I can finish a couple more yet this year.

We were asked in Thursdays I Ho Chuan class if we knew our weakness(es) and I know I have more than one but I also know which one is my biggest. It is not a technique or a part of a form but it is a mental one. I sometimes do not prioritize or dedicate enough time to practicing my form. There are all kinds of reasons I could give but it really is sometimes just me not prioritizing them. It is something I need to rectify so I have set a goal of performing each of my I Ho Chuan forms 5 times a day for the next seven days. I will see if this is doable and I will follow it up with a new goal next week.

The seminar is going well I think/hope and Sifu Ryback was there on Saturday which made it a lot easier to manage. As I stated my goal is to try and help everyone improve their sparring but to also make sure, they are getting what they want out of this. So, if you do attend, I will probably talk to you at some point this week to see how you are finding it.