Exhausted

It has been an off week for me as I got sick while I was away for work but wasn’t able to really slow down a lot as I was on a project solo. It wasn’t anything to bad just a head cold with some stuffiness. The biggest issue was I couldn’t sleep very well and when I did get home, I was exhausted even though I was over the cold.

Just being down for three days set me back on where I need to be with my numbers and I will be playing catch up for a bit yet. This just goes to show why it is so important to keep on top of them as you never know what will happen.

I want to keep evaluating where I feel I am at and so far, I am okay. Some things are where they feel like they should be and some are slightly behind I feel. Even though, I have been on the team for 3 years now, this year I find I am really pushing myself as I really want to work on myself this year.

There are still some personal things that I also need to work on at home that contu=inualay challenge me and I need to find the balance with life and Kung Fu. The one live class a month is helping with this but I have other things that I need to keep front and center and work around these instead of the other way around. I am going to leave this here for now as it feels like a good place to end for me.

Where am I?

A quick look at my life this past couple of weeks working 12 hour days at a minimum.

Flight #1 – Edmonton to Yellowknife

Flight #2 – Yellowknife to Norman Wells

6 hour drive on an ice road to Deline

3 days in Deline

6 hour drive on ice road to Norman Wells

Flight #3 – Norman Wells to Yellowknife

Overnight in Yellowknife

Flight #4 – Yellowknife to Vancouver

Flight #5 – Vancouver to Whitehorse

9 days in Whitehorse

Flight #6 – Whitehorse to Inuvik

3 hour drive on ice road to Aklavik

2 days in Aklavik

3 hour drive on ice road back to Inuvik

Flight #7 – Inuvik to Edmonton

In between this I have been concentrating on push-ups, sit-ups, AOK’s and Km’s as those I can do quite easily. The form work is harder as I don’t typically have a lot of room although I have been working on small sections of 1 or 2 moves. I did manage to get in 4 full reps when I had some extra space for an hour once.

The other thing I have been focusing on is one-on-ones as they are helping me work on sections of my form and also help me stay grounded as to what I am doing. I am still trying to do 2 per week even with my schedule and so for I have maintained it. The thing about these, is they are actually helping me answer my own questions just by talking through them so that has been an interesting aspect. I have some things to work on hopefully his week before I book my next ones.

Just a quick update for where I am at.

Push-ups & Sit-ups

First thing I want to talk about was our first live class for Kao Shi. I thought for me personally it was a great class as it showed me where I was at and where I need to go. It was tough but I felt great after. Would i want to do it again? Probably but that is easy to say now.

This has led me to start to focus on my sit-ups and push-ups more as I was not happy with where I was at. As I mentioned at the online class, I am really focusing on these along with Km’s and AOK’s while I am away for work as I can fit these in no matter how little time or space I have (push-ups and sit-ups). I am also aware of my KM’s and am mindfully tracking them while using stairs and taking the long way to get somewhere. The acts of kindness are helping me focus on the people around me and how I interact with them (this one is harder to track as I make a mental note but don.t pull out my book right away so I forget some but that is okay).

One more thing I am focusing on is working on certain sections of my forms as again I only need a limited amount of space for this. It is going okay but I am struggling a bit to find enough time to dedicate to this with my long workdays. This sounds like an excuse when I read it back so I will make a conscious effort to dedicate more time to this starting today.

I will unfortunately still be gone during our next live class and will also miss open training. I do however plan to be on the livestream and will follow along and participate even if you wont be able to see me.

New Year, New Plan, New Attitude

I have made the decision to be part of the new Kao Shi program. This was not a decision I took lightly and it is something I thought about for quite some time. I ultimately decided it was best for me to continue to advance my training. My goals this year are focused on areas I know I need to improve and to take my training to the next level.

Another reason for joining is to help keep myself accountable by committing to something that I can’t hide from later. I need to be present even when away and I am tracking things as accurately as possible this year.

Personal Requirements:

1) Book a one on one once per week.

2) Video my hand form once per month to track progress.

3) Spend 1 night per month talking with my spouse, no phones, no TV, no outside distractions.

4) I want to adapt my knowledge of grappling to suit the Kung Fu system more. This is a difficult idea to try to formulate a plan too. It starts with me working more on my forms to move better and then adapt from there.

My forms this year are Lao Gar (hand) and Horse bench (weapon) with a secondary focus on Da Mu Hsing (hand).

For Me

I am writing this just for myself as I need to reset my mind. My emotions and stress levels have been through the roof these last couple of months and I need to let some things go as I cannot change the past. This is really easy to say but has not been very easy for me to do.

What do I do? This is a question that I have struggled with for some time now and I honestly still don’t have an answer. I do know, that I need to reach out and talk to people because holding on to it is not going to help.

The other thing I need to focus on is the future as that is something I can prepare for. How to prepare is also what I need to focus on. I need to be smarter than I have in the past and I am hoping that I remember this when the time comes. Hence I am writing this to remind myself of two very important things.

1) I cannot change the past no matter how hard I try and stressing about it will not make it different.

2) I can control what I do in the future as long as I plan and follow through with that plan.

Out of Sorts

I have been a bit out of sorts lately and have spent too much time in my own head it feels like. I have been gone since the 18th of January except for a couple days at home where I git to go to the Kwoon for 1 day at least. I need to refocus and reengage and I am starting by getting this blog out. I hope to have another one out later this week but I have some long days ahead so not sure when that will happen.

1,000 Thoughts

I found out this past week that I will be leaving for work a lot sooner than I thought I would. I was hoping to not leave until after the banquet but that is unfortunately not going to happen. I think the reason I am not looking forward to this is the fact I want to be involved more than I am able to especially the demo and the lion dance. I will do as much as I can when I am here as I always try to do and I will be utilizing zoom as well.

On another note, I have been spending a lot more time working on my forms lately. This has led to questions that I didn’t realize I had. The main reason is I am working on strengthening the connection between forms and my work on grappling and sparring. I’ve always known there was a connection but I am working on building and growing the connection.

I have also spent the last few weeks working on my overall fitness and strength. This is for two main reasons. 1) I did not feel I was at a place where I wanted to be with my conditioning. 2) I am hoping to strengthen my shoulder and hip to alleviate or lessen the pain. I have been smart about what I am doing and only doing things that strengthen and not cause more issues.

This blog was kind of all over the place but this is where my mind is at lately. I have had so many things going on with both work and with my personal life I need to refocus for a second. This blog is a way to do that as are the one on ones I have been booking lately. I am using them not only to ask questions about my training but also to just talk about where I am in my life. By just talking to someone it has helped even if the details are not shared.