Worse Before Better

So, while I was away, I was only able to practice my form in a small space so it was very broken up and there were a lot of adjustments that had to be made in order to keep going. My main focus was on position, stances and the technique itself. Flow was harder to work on but certain sections allowed for it. I was back at the Kwoon last night and was able to do full form reps again. To be honest, I felt terrible doing the first couple. Things felt off and the flow was lacking.

On my last couple of reps I decided to look at myself in the mirror to see what it looked like and it was better than it felt. A couple of moves felt horrible but when I glanced in the mirror, they looked better than I had hoped or even expected.

This has got me thinking about my forms this year. I feel like they have gotten worse instead of better because I am really focusing on the moves and body alignment. This has led to some second guessing and some off-balance parts in the form. I know that it has to get worse before it can get better as I used to just go through the motions in the form. Now I am analyzing all my forms with the same eye for detail I am using with Lao Gar and it is helping but also making things worse in them as well. I will continue to see how this feeling progresses through the year and I can look back at videos from the start to now as well.

Source of Inspiration

All I can report this week is that I am still carrying on. Being away has always been the hardest for me. The hardest to keep practicing, the hardest to find motivation and the hardest to stay inspired.

This has been more of an issue in the past but I am doing better this year. I think part of this (or most likely, a lot of this) has to do with my one-on-ones. They have kept me practicing so I have questions I can ask during them instead of saying I don’t really have much this week. In fact, I usually run out of time before I can ask them all.

With that being said, I continue to practice while away and I continue to make notes so I can ask questions when I get the opportunity. So far so good and I am planning to continue as the year goes on. I will post a blog about this next time I am away so I can keep my focus on it.

Wasted Opportunity

I have been thinking about the assignment Sifu Rybak has asked us to complete at class on Saturday. What I have been thinking about is how much thought I put into this assignment last year because I did not make a note anywhere to remind myself what it was I wrote down. This means I did not utilize this tool and it was an opportunity lost.

We were tasked with writing down what we wrote last year again and to write down something new this year. I have an answer already in my mind but this year I will be writing it in my notebook so I can keep it on front of me and use it as a constant reminder going forward.

On another note, I will not be in class in person on the 18th so I will be posting my Beta forms in the Kao Shi group. I have them already but was just waiting until closer to the date to post them.

The Power of Video

I am leaving for work once again this Friday and will be gone for 2 weeks. This means I will not be at our next live class or open training. I tried to change it but in my line of work, I have to go when they need me. This means I will not be there to present my Beta versions of my forms.

To solve this, I will post videos of my forms online. This would have caused me some anxiety in the past but not this year. The reason is pretty simple. One of my goals this year is to video my forms every month to track my progress. So, I already have videos of my hand form and weapon form that I took at the end of March. However, I will be taking new videos this week just so it is a better representation of where I am at.

I have found the videos extremely helpful and also very humbling. They have been a great tool for me so far and one I will continue to use not only because it is one of my personal requirements, but they although for easier self evaluation. As I do the form and something feels off, the video actually shows what I feel.