New Years Eve

It is New Years Eve and I am sitting on the couch with my wife watching a movie. Nobody else around, just the two of us. Sometimes it is just about relaxing and spending time with the people who mean the most to you. Reflect about who you have in your life and know that tomorrow is the start of a new year and you are blessed to have them in your life.

Happy New Years everyone!

The Simple Things

These past few days have been about enjoying the simple things in life. Spending time with family and friends, enjoying some relaxing time at home and doing things that we want to do.

The holidays are the best time to really appreciate what you have in your live and more importantly the people you have in your life. I have been able to spend some great quality time with my family and that made me think of everyone at Silent River Kung Fu. Although we may not spend a lot of time together outside the Kwoon, you are all an import part of my life and I value the time we do spend together. Happy holidays and see you soon.

Honestly

To be honest with myself, I have not thought much about what the future holds for me since my layoff. Thoughts of despair creep into my head and I replace them with thoughts of the holidays and spending time with family and friends. This has been a nice distraction but I know that it is something that i need to start focussing on soon.

Another nice distraction has been Kung Fu. We are preparing for the Chinese New years banquet which means demo practices and lion dance practices. Thoughts about what i need to work on and how i can improve are constantly running through my head.

Another distraction has been preparing to grade for my second degree. I was eligible to grade two years ago, but felt i was not ready and didn't put the effort in that was necessary. However, this year I have focused on increasing my engagement and my commitment to Kung Fu. This has helped me in all aspects of my life and I plan to continue this trend.

Anyway, I am not planning to start a new career until after January 28th so I can be there for our Chinese New Years to see the new black belts be promoted and to participate in a fantastic evening. After that, who knows where work may take me but you sometimes need to make some sacrifices in life to achieve what you want.

Reflection

This past week I spent a lot of time thinking about where I am in life and what the future holds. I know I cannot change what has happened in the past so I try not to dwell on that aspect of my life.

I have focused a lot of my efforts on improving relationships in my personal life by reaching out to people and seeing if they need help with anything. I am also doing a lot of things around the house that I never seemed to have the time for. I have also worked on my relationship with my wife trying to be more supportive and ensuring that she is able to relax more when she gets home from work.

Another positive aspect of having so much free time is I have been able to dedicate more time to Kung Fu. I enjoy being able to go to different classes and get to work with different students. I am also able to commit to the lion dance this year and have been able to help out some of the other participants as well.

The future is still a lot uncertain but I can control what I am doing right now. I believe that if I put enough effort into something you will see results.

A bit lost

I am having trouble coming up with a name for this blog so I am going to leave it as it is. The past couple of weeks have been a bit strange to me as I am unsure what to do with my time. I have been doing some things around the house and have been going to Kung Fu but the rest of the time I feel a bit lost.

I have been struggling a bit to keep up with everyone else's blogging and posts as I used to have a routine but now that routine is gone. I will need to figure out a new routine that works for me and hopefully that will happen soon.

So much more I wanted to say but can't find the words right now.

Lifestyle Change

This past week was not so great for me as far as my work life goes. After 19 years at the same company, I was layer off. I knew that changes were coming because the hazardous waste industry in Alberta is directly affected by crude oil prices. It was not the change I was hoping for but I knew it was a possibility.

It is not only the loss of income, but also the loss of a vehicle, phone and computer. So now you have yo come up with money to replace these items while being unemployed.

To be honest, I am not sure where I am going to go from here as I have no plans as of yet. I am going to take a couple of weeks to get some things done around the house that I have not had time for.

Overall, I am in an okay place because there is nothing I believe I could have done to avoid this. I am also looking at it as being a new opportunity to maybe switch my career and try something new that I will enjoy more and be passionate about.

Beside, I will also have an opportunity to get in more Kung Fu training (Monday/Wednesday morning class from time to time). It will also allow my wife the opportunity to get more rest as I am able to do more around the house.

So yes it is unfortunate and the emotions run from anger, to shock to relief but in the end there is nothing you can do to change it so just have to move on with your life. no I just need to figure out what I want to be in life.

Catching Up

We returned from holidays late Saturday night and spent yesterday unpacking and getting things put away. I believe that it is nice to get away once and a while to recharge but it feels good to be back.

Todays priority was catching up with everything that has happened at Silent River Kung Fu. I have read through all the posts and everyone's blogs to see where they are at and what has been going on.

There are some that make me ponder what I am doing and where I think I should be at. There are some that are very personal and there are some that are very motivational. There have been some stories that have made me laugh and others that have made me extremely sad and wishing I could do something for that person. But every one is important to me and that is why I read them all.

I was never one who was great at blogging and even worse on keeping up with everyone else's blogs because I didn't even think about the value I would get out of reading them. This year has been different as I decided to focus on reading everyone's blog or post as it would help me to stay engaged and ensure that I consistently blogged as well.

I know a few of the I Ho Chuan have not blogged for a while and I know that they may not think about it or not want to and I get it. But for me, being able to catch up and stay connected has helped me this year more than any other year that I have been in the I Ho Chuan.

Thanks for all your posts and I cant wait to get back to the Kwoon tonight.

Normality of Life

My wife and I have been in Arizona on vacation since Wednesday. It is nice to be able to do what we want when we want to. The pressures of work, family, friends and your home can seem daunting some days but to be able to relax and go with the flow has been great.

The only problem is that it will be over Saturday and we will be returning home. Although the time away has been nice, I can't wait to get back to the normality of life.

Tiger Challenge

This years Tiger Challenge was the best one I believe we have ever had. I had the privilege of watching a lot of the competitors practice leading up to the tournament and they all put a lot of effort into it. This shows me that they are committed to improving themselves and they see the value in the tournament.

I approached this years Tiger Challenge by working on my mental mindset more. I usually get extremely nervous and this causes problems when competeing. Of course, right before the hand form event, the nerves started to get to me and I feel it showed in my form. I took a big breath and reset myself and from that point on I was relaxed and ready to just have fun.

I would like to congratulate my fellow competitors and also to thank them for some great competitions. It was a great day and a blast.

Why?

Every time an event comes up at Silent River Kung Fu (boot camp, forms seminar, tournament, etc.) my blogs tend to sound like I am trying to convince people to sign up for that event. That is okay as I would like other people to get something out of it like I have. This blog will be different however as I am going to tell you why I am entering the tournament.

I am competing in this years tournament because I want to Ho out of my comfort zone, I want yo push myself to improve and it is always a lot of fun. I don't need any more reasons than that.

Forms Seminar to Concert

This Saturday was the annual forms seminar and I was happy that I was able to instruct again this year. Although I have been off track for the past couple years, I have always made it a priority to attend the forms seminar.

I never attended the forms seminar as a student due to being nervous and not knowing what to expect. However, I volunteered to be an instructor the first year I received my black belt. All I can say is not attending before was a huge missed opportunity. The forms seminar and the boot camp are excellent training tools that every student should take advantage of especially the closer you get to grading.

Getting back to Saturday, I unfortunately had to leave right at 4:00 as I had to drive to Calgary for a concert that night so I didn't get to hear the rest of the comments for the last 10 participants. Sorry for cutting out early everyone but I was going with my son and it was important that I go.

The concert was awesome and we had a great time. He was exposed to some of the music I listened to when I was his age and he really enjoyed it as did I. You need to be able to balance your personal life with Kung Fu and I was able to achieve that on Saturday.

Great job by all the participants in the forms seminar. Remember that you have another opportunity coming up in less than 2 weeks with the Tiger Challenge.

See you all there.

Thanksgiving

This weekend is Thanksgiving and I have been thinking about what I am thankful for.

I am thankful that I have a loving and supportive family.

I am thankful that I live in a great place like Alberta.

I am thankful that I have have great friends.

I am thankful that I am able to train in with like minded people at Silent River Kung Fu.

There are so many things that can cause you to forget what we have and how lucky we are sometimes that we need to be thankful for what we have and for the people who are part of our lives.

Reflection

I have spent the past couple of days reflecting on where I am at not only in Kung Fu but in my personal life as well. I have talked about some of the stresses in my life over the past couple of blogs but there are a lot of positives as well.

1) I am in much better shape physically than when I started this year.

2) I have 2 forms for my bench and that is more forms than I had in the last 3 years of the I Ho Chuan.

3) My home life is strong and I have a supportive family to help me through.

4) I have the support of Silent River Kung Fu especially the I Ho Chuan team.

All in all, I am pretty lucky and I am happy to be able to realize that.

The Internal Struggle

This week has had me struggling with myself in trying to play out scenarios in my mind. If this happens I could do this or maybe this. If that happens then this wont be possible so then what do I do. After a few days of this, I have come to the conclusion there are a million different possibilities but I have no control over a lot of the aspects that will affect this.

Worrying about work and your career, can be very stressful and does not help your mindset our your situation. I have switched my thinking to being prepared for what may happen and have started to make a plan which accounts for 3 or 4 possibilities. When you analyze things, you can usually group similar things into the same category. this makes planning for the different possibilities a lot easier.

There has been no changes as of yet, but I know they are coming but I do feel a lot more prepared now than I did last week.

Stress Level 11

I have been feeling a lot more stressed in life this last month or so. I have tried to smile and just go with the flow but it has been getting harder and harder to ignore.

Last November my Wife was laid off from her job due to the economy. She took it pretty hard but also looked at some positives. She was able to get some projects done around the house and her E.I. payments were close to what she was making while working.

She figured that she would have plenty of time to find a new job by the time October came around. That is far from the case now as the job market in Alberta is tough and its hard to find a job that is a career and not just a temporary filler.

We can survive without her working, but my work has undergone more changes in the last couple of months with more to come. This affects me because I am in a specialized position that was created by the old management team. None of those people are in their old management positions anymore and with the economy where its at still, my position is not that secure anymore.

I know that a change is coming, I just don't know what it is. It may be time to change careers or maybe start a new business (just don't know what that would be yet).

Where I was

At Saturday's meeting, some people were talking about wanting to be where they were years ago. There was also discussion about not comparing yourself to what you used to be like as it can have create negative feelings.

I however do compare myself to where I used to be. Almost three years ago now, I had some serious shoulder issues that forced me to quit lion dancing and severely limited what I could do as far as training went. Today they are still weak compared to what they used to be and doing 30 push-ups is a struggle most days. I could dwell on this but it forced me to change how I do things and I have improved other aspects of my trainig.

Another example of comparing yourself that is important to me is to look at where I was just 6 months ago. I was not in very good shape physically and my conditioning and physical strength were way below what they should have been. I am not sure how it happened but it just did. I decided to make a lifestyle change to get back to where I used to be. This has inspired me to push myself and never give up or quit even though I have felt like doing just that some days. I have used this motivation to exceed even my own goal and it has now become part of my routine and not just doing it to achieve my goal.

So as you can see, I believe it is important to look back at what you used to be able to do and compare yourself to how you were. Our past defines who we are and I try to look at the positives. I know I will never be the same as I was, but I have made some very positive changes in other aspects of my life and I believe I am better for it.

So Much Help

The Kwoon maintanence is only 2 days in and we have almost completed everything on the list. It's not because there is not a lot to do, it's because we have had a lot of volunteers show up.

People are looking for things to do and it can be hard to do but that should not discourage them. They have shown up and that is the most important part. The Kwoon maintanence is not only about working bug connecting with other members of Silent River Kung Fu.

I am really inspired by everyone who has shown up and At this rate we should be mostly finished by tonight. This way everyone can enjoy the potato bake tomorrow and the long weekend after that.

Maintanence Week and What its About

The annual Kwoon Maintenance week is coming up next week and I am excited to be a part of it this year. In the past, I have contributed a considerable amount of time to the Kwoon maintenance and it helped me become a black belt.

It was not a direct factor it achieving black belt (hey you helped with the maintenance so here's your black belt) as it was more on the mental side. The Kwoon maintenance made me feel more comfortable training in the Kwoon as it felt like I owned a part of it now. With this change in mindset, I became more comfortable training at the Kwoon in front of other people.

This statement may sound like how everyone promotes the Kwoon maintenance and it should because it is so true. Ask any black belt or que belt who has taken part and see what they have to say about it.

I seem to have forgotten this over the last couple years as I have not had as much to do with the maintenance week and last year I showed up on the last day but everything was mostly completed by then. This made a bad year even worse in my opinion as I lost out on an opportunity that will never come back. I continued to struggle through the year and it was only near the end of the year I started to finally become reengaged with my Kung Fu. I regret not participating in the maintenance week last year even to this day as I know it could have kick-started me in September and not January.

How do I make sure not to miss out again. By volunteering to coordinate the maintenance this year. This way, I know that my commitment will be there and I will be able to benefit again.

This whole blog seems somehow all about what I get out of being part of the Kwoon maintenance but I hope I am inspiring others to come and see what it is truly all about. You get to meet other people who train and/or instruct at Silent River and it will take your training and commitment to a whole new level.

Also, there will be an awesome Potato Bake on Thursday, September 1st. Come hang out, enjoy a baked potato and meet some new people.

Boot Camp was Awesome

I felt that this years boot camp was awesome. There were a lot of great seminars and I got to participate in a lot of them.

I am not sure why, but I feel that this has been one of the best boot camps for me. I thought the seminar variety was great and you could tell the instructirs were passionate about there seminar.

I hope more people can take part in next years boot camp because it is a life altering experience to attend.

Missing Class

At I Ho Chuan class on Thursday we had 10 people there only which is just over 1/3 of the members. Sifu Brinker talked about 0 unexcused absences yet a lot of people did not have a legitimate reason for not being there.

What does legitimate mean? It simply means that you have a family issue to take care of, you are away because of work or something along those lines. It doesn't mean you want to watch your favorite show on TV or you want to check out a movie unless you are doing it because its your anniversary or your child's birthday.

I am by no means criticizing or judging people that were not there because you may probably had a legitimate reason. What I am doing is talking about my own experience with this. For the last 2 years in the I Ho Chuan, I struggled to take part in class and I never put the effort into my training that I should have. It was obvious because I didn't take part n demos but mostly, I quit coming to class and meetings.

It became much easier to come up with a "legitimate" reason to not go to class every time I missed one. This had such a negative impact on my training, my physical conditioning and my outlook on Kung Fu in general. Things got so bad, I was tempted to give up instructing the intermediate teen/adult class.

What changed my attitude was with two months to go in the year I started attending the class's and the meetings again. Once I started participating again, it got me reengaged in my training and my passion for kung Fu was renewed once again.

I have been able to carry the momentum into this year and I have not missed a meeting or a mandatory class yet. I have taken vacation and have done some travelling with work but have been able to schedule this to ensure I am still there for classes and meetings.

Remember that your journey is your own and struggling will be a part of it but I figured it might help those of you who are struggling to know that everyone on the team has struggled but just know you can still salvage your year. All you need to do this, is show up for class. Even if you cant or don't want to participate, just being there is a huge step.

Away for a bit.

I have been on holidays for this past week and took some time to go down to Drumheller for 3 days hence not being around much last week. I will be on holidays next week as well but should be around for most classes.

I have been keeping up with my training and exercise program which has helped keep me engaged.

See everyone soon.

Boot Camp

What is boot camp and why should I go? These are the questions I asked myself for years and I always came up with the same answer. Its just a day where people will judge me and I will get nothing out of it so I wont go. I told myself this right up until I was a Sihing.

At Sihing I started to realize what it would take to become a black belt at that boot camp was an opportunity presented to me that I never took advantage of. That first boot camp was amazing and I got so much more out of it than I expected. The biggest regret is that was my first and only boot camp as a student. If I had only gone before that, who knows where I would have been in my training.

I have gone to boot camp after but now as a black belt. there is still a lot of value in it for me but not as much as when I was going for black belt. I have also instructed some seminars at boot camp and my goal is to try to pass on knowledge about what helps me in my training or what am I passionate about. I believe that anyone putting on a seminar is doing it for these same reasons. We want to pass on something that will hopefully inspire the students or make them want to pursue something further.

I have a couple of ideas that I have put out there for seminars at boot camp so hopefully we will see you there.

Is it worth it?

I have a lot of people ask me what's with the sawhorse? This starts a long conversation beginning with its not a sawhorse it's a horse bench. From there it's why I have a horse bench to Kung Fu to the I Ho Chuan.

Then people ask why would you want to do that? There are so many reasons that I stumble over my words as they all try to come out at once. I usually have to focuss for a second and gather my thoughts before I answer.

The single biggest reason is because it has made me a better person. Before they ask how, I continue with the how.
It has taught me how to structure my life and stick to a plan. It has taught me to focus on the important things in life and don't sweat the small stuff. It has taught me the importance of family (my own family and my Kung Fu family). And it caused me to evaluate where I was physically and made me make changes to inmprove my eating habits and my improve my fitness level.

Most people look at me like that is crazy that I would do all this but some say they wish they could do something like this as they would like to make similar changes in their own life's. This makes me happy that I am part of the I Ho Chuan this year as I think I am actually embracing the process this year for the first time since my black belt grading year.

Canada day demo and reflection.

Tomorrow is Canada day and we are doing a bunch of demos throughout the day. This is a huge commitment by the team but it should be a lot of fun.

This got me to thinking about where I am at this year compared to the last four and I have to admit that this is the best one so far.

I feel more engaged than ever, I am in the best shape I have been in years and every week is better than the last.

What is the biggest difference this year? It has all been about where I am at mentally. I want to succeed and I quit making excuses to myself and my teammates.

This year has been great and it's all due to the support of the team. Thanks everyone.

Demos

The demo on Saturday was absolutely amazing. The audience was fantastic and they really appreciated what they were seeing.

For those of you that were not there, you missed an amazing day and I hope that you will be there for the next demo which is on July 1st.

Anxiety is always a part of public performing and I still get nervous. That is part of the experience and once you are finished, it all goes away and you are left feeling like you have accomplished something great.

I hope to see more of the team at Canada day.

Only 3,000 a Day

Over the last few weeks, I have been doing a workout routine at home. the goal of this was to improve my conditioning and to get back into shape. The program has been going well but I decided to step it up.

My new goal was to burn 3,000 calories per day everyday. The first week, I made it 5 days out of the seven which I was disappointed in. Last week which was week two, I achieved my goal of 3,000 calories everyday. I didn't think it would be that hard, but on non Kung Fu days after sitting at a desk all day, it takes a lot of work.

Along with the calorie burn, we have changed our eating habits to healthier choices for both meals and snacks (more fruit and veggies). My average calorie intake is down to 1,500-1,800 calories per day. This combined with the exercise has made a huge impact as I feel more energetic and I am sleeping better at night.

This week, I am again aiming for 3,000 calories per day with the same average intake of 1,600 calories. I have getting closer to where I feel I need to be and once I get there, I plan to maintain it.

P.S. Weight loss after 12 weeks is 20 pounds.

Bench II

On Saturday after the parade, the I Ho Chuan team performed a lion dance and demo at Rotary park. We have been working on our forms for just over 3 months now and have had to perform them in class but this was the first "performance".

This was the perfect place to do them as it most mostly just the team there with a few spectators. No pressure and just a lot of fun.

Leading up to the demo, I planned on performing the first form I practiced (I call it bench I) as that's what I have performed in class and so that's I decided I should do. I have been working on a longer, more elaborate form with my bench (Bench II) but have never "performed it" yet. 5 minutes before the demo I decided to do Bench II instead. This way, I could not talk myself out of it and what better place to try it out than there.

I was a bit nervous but made it through and now I will continue to work on making it better. Maybe soon I can add my flip that is supposed to start the form.

Workout Again. Yeah!

A few weeks back, I had mentioned that I started to work out at home to increase my conditioning and to improve my overall fitness level. Two weeks ago I finished the 8 week program but I still didn't feel like I had accomplished what I wanted to. For these and another couple of reasons, I decided to start the program again.

While I admit that my conditioning has improved and I feel a lot better overall, I know I can do more. Why subject myself to this? I feel like I need to so I can improve my skills as a martial artist. Another reason is its something I feel I need to do for my overall health as well.

Along with a workout, I have added cardio sessions and stretching. The biggest change however has been from being more conscious of what I eat and how much. These changes have had a dramatic effect and in the last 8 weeks I have lost 14 pounds. I feel better than I have in years and I am motivated to continue to get to where I want to be.

As an added bonus, my wife has started doing cardio sessions while I work out and she has also started to do some of the workouts. This is another great motivator for me as it is something we can do together.

Pandamonium

I have noticed a lot of people commenting or blogging about how they were not engaged enough with Pandamonium this year. I am curious as to how they have come to that mindset. The following are what I think may be some of the reasons.

1) They did not get any donations or they did not get enough donations in their mind.

2) They did not promote the event or any of the charities.

3) They were unable to attend the day of.

4) They don't support the event.

#4 is the one I think most likely as I think we all see the good one or more of the charities are doing and believe we should help them. Also, I don't think they would call this a lack of engagement nor would they blog about it.

We did not reach our goal this year, but it was a great day at Silent River Kung Fu. Lets try and remember the good and focus on making next years even more successful.

1 to 100.

I tried to convey to the intermediate class last Wednesday what it was like to go to Alabama. It was difficult to try and put into words but I hope I was able to get the message across.

The whole point of this, was to help them see the importance of Pandamonium. We were able to make a huge difference to the people of Mobile, Alabama. The thing to realize, is that we have the same ability to do that here. I hope what I was trying to convey to the class came through and if I inspired one person to care then that would be a success. How is that a success? Hopefully they will inspire one person to care and then that person will do the same and so on. If that continues, before you now it, there will be 100 people who care and imagine the charges 100 people could make instead of 1.

Alabama to Pandamonium

Seven members of Silent River Kung Fu recently went to Alabama to take part in the Alabama Build-Vention. The Alabama Build-Vention is where like minded people from the Martial Arts community go to Greensboro Alabama and donate their labor to the community. We do what they require of us and we do it with vigor and without complaining. I was one of the lucky seven who went this year.

This project has a way of changing how you view the world. The community is very poor and a lot of the buildings are in disrepair and would be condemned around here. However in Alabama, these buildings are peoples homes , businesses and schools. The project I was working on was installing flooring in a old school that was slated to be destroyed and burned. Hero Housing bought the building for $3000 and had it moved to a new site in Greensboro. This building is going to be used to help youths aged 16-24 obtain there GED. To be able to help to complete this building even in the small amount that I did was life changing.

Every person that we met down there asked if we were part of the volunteer group. When we answered yes, they all thanked us for what we were doing and they were all very appreciative. To be able to do something like this was not only gratifying but also very moving. Our group this year saved them months of work and has allowed them to fast-track the opening of this building. My biggest regret is that I felt we did not have enough time down there and I wish we had a few more days to continue the work. I have already began planning my trip there next year as I cant wait to go back. My goal is to convince as many people to go as possible so they can benefit as much as I have.

So what does Alabama have to do with Pandamonium? Everything. We have the same opportunity to affect peoples lives here. By raising awareness for our charities, we will be able to support them long term. The goal should be informing people on what the charities we support do. Let them know what an education means to a girl from Malawi. Tell them about why it is important that a wolf is vital to the ecosystem. What about being able to feed 1,00 people? Instead of someone just donating money they may decide to look up the charity themselves and from there who knows how they may be inspired. As Tom Callos kept telling us is the donations are important but the people doing the work is where the real benefit comes in. I hope that all of you are inspired by this but even if it is only one then I would be happy. It is hard to put into words the effect that we can have on people but trust me from first hand experience it will be something that will be with you for the rest of your life and it is something that will make you feel great.

P.S. There were 2 professional fighters down there. Chris Mierzwiak and Neil Magney. In the evenings they do some rolling (Brazilian Jiu Jitsu) on the mats and I got to roll with Neil. Awesome.

The Week That Was and Will Be.

I can't decide to talk about the week that was or the week to come. I have decided to do a little of both.

This week was great for most training except for my forms. Wednesday was cut short as I had to leave right after class to rescue a stranded father in law and Saturday was spent cleaning up the Rotary Park and the Kwoon. I am okay with how the week played out as my form numbers are strong at it was nice to be able to help out in these other activities.

Next week is the trip to Alabama. This will be my first time there so I am a bit nervous about what will happen but I am also excited about the opportunity. I can't relat how I am feeling as I have no idea. I will definately blog about it when I am back. Until then.

Saturday Super Heros

I had the privilege of teaching fitness class on Saturday and I am impressed by the students in that class. It was probably one of the most intense routines I had ever tried and everyone did fantastic. This blog is more about them and how just being around people willing to work that hard is inspirational. Just so they are aware that workout was about 12 minutes longer than what I normally do so great job. You guys are awesome.

Family time at Chickakoo

With so many people talking about family lately, it got me thinking about mine. The one thing I don't believe I dedicate enough time to is my family. Between work and Kung fu there is not a lot of time left in the day or so I thought. There is the time when you get home from work before Kung fu. There is the time after you get home. There is the evenings when you don't have a class. And there are weekends. I have recently started to take advantage of these times and will continue to do so. Today September and I went to Chickakoo Lske and spent an hour walking the trails and talking. It was an enjoyable way to spend the afternoon and I managed to add some numbers to two of my requirements. Our next plan is to go biking there next Saturday and we are hoping to make it a weekly tradition got the summer.

Work out again. Uggg!

I have been working on my conditioning and overall fitness these past couple of weeks. I have been surprised by two things over this time period. 1) How bad my conditioning and overall fitness is. I knew I was not where I used to be at but I had no idea how far I was away from it. 2) How much it has improved in just 2 weeks. Even though it has only been 2 weeks, I have already noticed a big difference in how I feel. It is an eight week program so I am eager to see the final result.

Flip....Fall

Thursday has come and gone and it felt great to perform my bench form. It has been a few years since I have truly felt part of the I Ho Chuan team. This was solely my own doing and I have accepted the responsibility for it. This year is different and I can feel it. The team is supportive of each other and I believe we all felt everyone did extremely well on Thursday. My next step is to continue to work on my bench form but to also work on my second bench form. Form 1 is all about techniques and stances. The focus being on striking with the stepping. Form 2 is more flashy and the bench is more active. My biggest struggle is the opening as I have the form movements down but I need to flip over the bench and land on my feet while bringing the bench over with me. If you see me falling over a lot fog the next while you will know why.

Thursday

It's seems that a few people are feeling the pressure about showing there form this coming Thursday. I understand where they are coming from as I have been there before. It can seem overwhelming and like you are going to be judged. For the last while I have used this an excuse to avoid class or just not perform and this has been the wrong approach. This year I am preparing to the best of my ability knowing that I have put the effort in. My mindset and attitude this year are more positive and no matter what happens Thursday, I will show my form.

Alabama.

Yesterday I made the commitment to go to Alabama with 7 other members of Silent River Kung Fu. In the days leading up to this decision I kept asking myself why would I go? The following is a list of some of the reasons I came up with. These are not rational or thought out but the first thoughts that came into my head. 1) Its a long way from home. 2) You will be surrounded by strangers (except for 7 other people). 3) You don't even know what you will be doing there. 4) How do you explain to your family that you are going away to help strangers. 5) What will you get out of it? The hardest one to overcome was number four. The day we leave is the same day as my son's 21st birthday. That is one of the main reasons why I struggled so much with deciding whether or not to go. There is a sense of guilt over putting a strangers needs ahead of your families but I have determined that I can make it up to my son. Now to answer the question "Why would I go?". Why not. All the reasons I listed are excuses and not reasons. Life is about new experiences and new people. The difference that you can make in a persons day by just giving them a smile or talking to them about their day for a few minutes can have an incredible impact on them. If you read Mrs. Tomie's latest blog you will see what impact such a simple act can have on a person. Now just imagine the difference you can make over 4 days. I have also determined that I have been lacking in my benevolence lately. I was more involved with events/projects done through Silent River Kung Fu in the past (food bank drive, silent auction, lion dances, Kwoon renovations, Pandamonium, etc.). This year, one of the things I am working towards is to take a bigger leadership/participation role in these events and projects. Going to Alabama is the first step in the right direction.

Engaged

There has been a lot of people talking about engagement and what kind of a teammate they are this year. I decide to analyze myself. Over the past 3 years, I have struggled with my engagement culminating with me missing the 2015 banquet (due to work). I felt like I was justified in why I couldn't participate in the demos or why I didn't have my form ready. I wasn't going to be here anyway, I have an injury, I don't feel comfortable performing etc. They sounded good in my head at the time but now I realize it was all just excuses. These "excuses" were the cause of my lack of engagement and not vice versa. This year I feel more engaged and excited than I have ever in the past. Why is this? I don't know if I could have answered that question last week as I hadn't thought about it until recently. One reason, is I am excited about my weapon of choice for this year. My past weapons were the 3 section staff which led to a shoulder injury along with the push-ups. Followed up by two years of the chain whip. I went to the chain whip as I needed a lighter weapon and something I never felt comfortable with either of these so I never put the effort in that I should have. I regret this now as I failed myself and the whole process of the I Ho Chuan. Another reason is I ended last year on a high note. The beginning of year of the Sheep was one of the worst and I ended up missing almost all classes and meetings until September. Some of this was due to work and again some of it was due to me not prioritizing things in my life. It became easier to stay away than make the effort to go back. once work slowed down, I was able to make more classes and the engagement level started to increase. Being able to be part of the dragon dance team brought me back full steam ahead. It's amazing to me that a small thing can have such a huge impact. The main reason though is my teammates this year. Everyone is so much more involved than I have seen in a long time. I can tell because of the amount of comments people are receiving on their blogs. We have had some people share some very difficult details of their lives and people are responding with support and encouragement. I think this is going to be the best I Ho Chuan team yet.

Lost Sheep .... Found Monkey

This is more of a story of coincidence than anything. I had to go to Taber to be on a customers site for 9:00 am on Wednesday morning so I drove down the day before. I couldn't find a room I liked in Taber so I decided to stay in Lethbridge at the Holiday Inn. After getting to my room and doing a couple hours of work I decided to go the exercise room and use the treadmill or the bike. As I approached the room, there were 2 people in there using the equipment so I paused and contemplated coming back later. I wanted to leave as I had envisioned riding the exercise bike without an audience. After a couple of minutes at the door, I went in because I knew I was trying to make excuses to not work out as it had been a long day already. This is a lot of random information but it helps set the stage for what happened next (it was such a random encounter). Out of all the hotels in the area at that exact time of day, who do I see on the treadmill. Ian Repay. What are the odds of that happeningÉ Once he finishes, we start chatting and he tells me about all the travelling he has to do and what his next 3 weeks are like. He only gets home for the weekends now and sometimes only for Sundays. I won`t get into any more details as that's something he would need to share. We only talked for about 5 minutes but made plans to get together after I was done to meet for dinner. I was excited about this as we had trained together in the San Shou class and he has been a student of mine. Unfortunately, due to unforeseen circumstances, he had to cancel. Even though it was only a few minutes, it was good to see him again. I wish we would have had more time to talk but at least I did get to see him. He did confirm with me that he is on the Monkey team with us this year and I told him I was glad to hear it. He has had a tough schedule this last while but he has made the commitment to be a part of the team. I have decided in my future travels to try and see where he is in the off chance we are in the same city again. I think it is important to him to know that we will always be a part of Silent River Kung Fu. Maybe next time we can get in those form reps together.

Migraines, what a pain in the ......

I wasn't sure what I wanted to write about this week but it started to come to me earlier this morning and now its the only thing I can think about. I don't think many of you know this about me but I usually get a migraine headache at least once per week. Sometimes they last for the day but I have had ones that last for 3 to 4 days. I cant remember when I started to get them but I can remember getting them before my concussion 4 years ago. After my concussion, I have gotten them more often though. I usually get a warning that one is coming on as it starts with a throbbing in the back of the head that slowly migrates to the front. My triggers include bright lights (including sunlight), computer screens, loud sounds and physical exertions. Not very feasible when your job involves plenty of computer work or when you are practicing martial arts. To combat symptoms, I used to take some type of pain medication (usually Tylenol) and carry on. This led to more problems as the more times I used the medication, the more often I would get a migraine. Recently (about 6 months ago) I started to avoid the medication as much as possible. It sucks a lot more while you have the migraine but it usually doesn't last as long so its a better trade off for me as the medication only dulled the pain but you could still feel it in the background waiting to come forward again. The question I am asking myself is why would I write about this now? I think it is an important part of who I am as a person as it affects what I can and cannot do on a weekly basis. The other thing it has taught me is to listen to what my own body is telling me. I do get frustrated and wish I didn't get migraines but it is something that I need to deal with. I am getting better at trying to change things in my life that trigger migraines but the biggest issue is I haven't figured out how to not work yet

What is it about Lions?

Over the last three days, I have had the privilege of performing 4 public lion dances. Why is that so important to me? Lion dancing was the thing that got made me the martial artist I am today. Let me explain. My son joined Kung Fu about a month before I did. I was taking him to classes in Onoway and would then watch the class until he was done. I figured if I was there, I might as well participate. My reason for joining back then were simple, it was something I could do with my son and I figured it was a great way to get some exercise. After about three years, Sifu Ryback brought some lions from Stony Plain and started to teach the Onoway students Lion Dancing. At first, I was not interested in doing this as I didn't want to look foolish or embarrass myself. We all were supposed to try it so I said I would go in the tail. I figured the tail was a little easier and less complicated. After a few classes, we didn't have many people who wanted to be in the head, so I volunteered to give it a try. It was frustrating at first because the head was all over the place and it seemed like I wouldn't be able to figure out how to do it. I don't really know why I stuck with it but I think it was because there didn't seem to be any other volunteers or maybe at this point I was starting to enjoy it and didn't see any other volunteers. Over the next while we practiced a lot more(Sifu Wiebe was the tail) and we became the Onoway team. Our first performance was not a public performance but a performance for Sifu Brinker as he had to okay our proficiency as Lion dancers. That first performance was the most stressful thing I had done in Kung Fu up to that point. We performed and although nerves were a little shaky, we got the okay. As soon as that performance was over, something changed for me. I got a big boost of confidence and I felt that Kung Fu and Lion Dancing were now part of who I was as a person. Every time I did a performance after that, the confidence with the lion kept growing and the connection to the school got stronger. Why do I bring this up? Its quite simple for me. These past 3 days has brought back so many fond memories and has also help reaffirm the importance of Kung Fu in my life. There is nothing like performing a Lion Dance in public and seeing it bring joy (and sometimes fear) to people. It is a hard thing to explain how it feels to me but the best way to describe it is it feels fulfilling. It was great to be out there again (2 years since the last one) and I cant wait for the next one.

Gone but Not Forgotten

Monday was a stressful day for me. Not because of work, not because of something at home but because we were going to practice a lion dance (the we being Sifu Tymchuck and myself). I kept telling myself that you have done a lot of lion dances over the years so why be nervous. I think the reason I was nervous was because I was afraid of failure. It had been 2 years since my last lion dance and I wasn't sure if I would remember how to even do it. This seemed silly and irrational to myself but I couldn't shake the nerves and the closer it got to practice time the worse it got. Monday evening at 8:15, we jump in the lion after a 15 second discussion between Sifu Brinker, Sifu Tymchuck and myself and we go for it. I take a few seconds in the lion to focus my mind and then close the lions eyes, put the head down and get ready to go. The first beat of the drum changes the mindset and I start going through the motions like I had done many times in the past. It all came back to me like I had just done a lion dance yesterday. It felt natural to be in a lion again and especially with a familiar partner. Sifu Tymchuck and I were partners for over two years at one point and it felt natural to be back in a lion with him again. Anxiety and self doubt can be a hard thing to overcome but with the help of your teammates and training partners it is possible.

Family is Kung Fu

I have been spending a lot of time lately reading everyone's blogs and I realised that many of us have had the same injuries or struggles in the past or are currently experiencing them. Its amazing that we live such different lives away from the Kwoon yet we all have had such similar feelings and experiences in our lives. When you are a member of the I Ho Chuan team, you are a member of a family. Even if you do not get to see that family that much or you will feel like an outsider and don't know if you should come back, I can tell you that that is not true. We have all struggled from time to time and have been away for long stretches (some longer than others) but speaking from experience, you will always be welcome. This got me thinking as to why this is. For me, I think its because we all share this common activity that has become a large part of our lives and helped to make us the person who we have become. When somebody is away for so long, it feels like a part of something is missing. Its hard to explain the feeling but I believe anyone on the I Ho Chuan knows what I am talking about. However, when that person is back, the feeling goes away. This blog is not directed at any person but more as to how I have felt in the past and what it felt like when I came back. My job will take me away again in the future with no idea of when or for how long but i have learned a lot in this past year and the support of the team will make it much easier to come back through those doors. Kung Fu has done some great things for me and I hope that anyone out there that doesn't know if they can come back or if they should come back, I am telling you, you can come back. You are part of something special and will always be welcome.

The Ying and the Yang

I have seen some people reflecting on their blogs and commenting on how negative they feel they are. I know I have felt that way about my own before as well. I believe this is due to the fact that when we evaluate ourselves, we always know we can do better. No matter what the outside world sees, our internal view is a lot different. It can be tough to see positives when you have had a year in the I Ho Chuan that has not gone as you had planned. I emailed Sifu Brinker a couple of weeks ago to discuss with him being a part of next years team and what my goals were to finish this year on a positive. I decide that to have a successful year next year, I needed to start making change now. Is it what I originally set out to do last January? Short answer is no. When I look back at what has transpired this year and where I am not, its hard not to be negative especially when trying to share it. I know what I should have done and definitely know what things I could have done to make this year more of a success. The point of this is to know that being critical of yourself is an important tool in bettering yourself. So when I blog going forward, there will still be some negative content but I will also include positive content as well. Life is about balance and to be successful you need to be able to use the negative as a way of improving yourself so you can continue to grow as a martial artist and as a person.