Gone but Not Forgotten

Monday was a stressful day for me. Not because of work, not because of something at home but because we were going to practice a lion dance (the we being Sifu Tymchuck and myself). I kept telling myself that you have done a lot of lion dances over the years so why be nervous. I think the reason I was nervous was because I was afraid of failure. It had been 2 years since my last lion dance and I wasn't sure if I would remember how to even do it. This seemed silly and irrational to myself but I couldn't shake the nerves and the closer it got to practice time the worse it got. Monday evening at 8:15, we jump in the lion after a 15 second discussion between Sifu Brinker, Sifu Tymchuck and myself and we go for it. I take a few seconds in the lion to focus my mind and then close the lions eyes, put the head down and get ready to go. The first beat of the drum changes the mindset and I start going through the motions like I had done many times in the past. It all came back to me like I had just done a lion dance yesterday. It felt natural to be in a lion again and especially with a familiar partner. Sifu Tymchuck and I were partners for over two years at one point and it felt natural to be back in a lion with him again. Anxiety and self doubt can be a hard thing to overcome but with the help of your teammates and training partners it is possible.

Family is Kung Fu

I have been spending a lot of time lately reading everyone's blogs and I realised that many of us have had the same injuries or struggles in the past or are currently experiencing them. Its amazing that we live such different lives away from the Kwoon yet we all have had such similar feelings and experiences in our lives. When you are a member of the I Ho Chuan team, you are a member of a family. Even if you do not get to see that family that much or you will feel like an outsider and don't know if you should come back, I can tell you that that is not true. We have all struggled from time to time and have been away for long stretches (some longer than others) but speaking from experience, you will always be welcome. This got me thinking as to why this is. For me, I think its because we all share this common activity that has become a large part of our lives and helped to make us the person who we have become. When somebody is away for so long, it feels like a part of something is missing. Its hard to explain the feeling but I believe anyone on the I Ho Chuan knows what I am talking about. However, when that person is back, the feeling goes away. This blog is not directed at any person but more as to how I have felt in the past and what it felt like when I came back. My job will take me away again in the future with no idea of when or for how long but i have learned a lot in this past year and the support of the team will make it much easier to come back through those doors. Kung Fu has done some great things for me and I hope that anyone out there that doesn't know if they can come back or if they should come back, I am telling you, you can come back. You are part of something special and will always be welcome.

The Ying and the Yang

I have seen some people reflecting on their blogs and commenting on how negative they feel they are. I know I have felt that way about my own before as well. I believe this is due to the fact that when we evaluate ourselves, we always know we can do better. No matter what the outside world sees, our internal view is a lot different. It can be tough to see positives when you have had a year in the I Ho Chuan that has not gone as you had planned. I emailed Sifu Brinker a couple of weeks ago to discuss with him being a part of next years team and what my goals were to finish this year on a positive. I decide that to have a successful year next year, I needed to start making change now. Is it what I originally set out to do last January? Short answer is no. When I look back at what has transpired this year and where I am not, its hard not to be negative especially when trying to share it. I know what I should have done and definitely know what things I could have done to make this year more of a success. The point of this is to know that being critical of yourself is an important tool in bettering yourself. So when I blog going forward, there will still be some negative content but I will also include positive content as well. Life is about balance and to be successful you need to be able to use the negative as a way of improving yourself so you can continue to grow as a martial artist and as a person.

Dragon

I have signed up for next years I Ho Chuan team. This has not been a great year for me but the last 2 months have been a lot better. A big part of this has been the dragon dance. I have always found being a part of the lion or dragon dance a huge part of my Kung Fu. It helps you feel like you are part of something and it helps me connect with the people I train with. I encourage any of you who are not coming to the practices to start showing up and be part of something special. Friday's at 7:15 pm and Saturdays at 12:00 pm. Remember that we need all the participants we can as last Friday we could not practice as we were short 1 person. Please come and be part of something great.

Blog Comment

I just want to thank everyone who commented on my last blog. It helps me to understand what other people are getting from the blogs. I was hoping for more comments but if I look at my own actions, I understand why there wer not more. It is sometimes hard to come up with your own blog let alone comment on everyone else's. I now =1 everything that I read (for the most part) so at least someone knows that I am reading what they post. Thanks to everyone that did comment and I would ask that if you haven't, please try so everyone that is not blogging knows why it is important to you that they are.

Survey Says.

I am still finding it hard to be consistent with my posts. It is not something new for me as it has always been a struggle going back to my first year in the UBBT. There is no specific reason for it that I have been able to figure out so I have decided to focus on why for the next little while. 1) Is it because I have nothing to write about? No, because I can write a blog whenever I attempt one. 2) Is it because I need to do it at work? No, because I have lunch or a phone that I can do it on. 3) Is it because its not a priority? Hmmmm. I think this may be a big part of the why. So why is it not a priority then. To expand further, I need to realize the benefit it has not only to me but to my teammates and possibly the school. What do people get from reading other peoples blogs? I would like to ask that anyone who reads this to answer the above question. Think of it as a survey for the whole I Ho Chuan team.

1 Minute a Day

It has been a long time since I have written anything and the only reason is because I got lost in time for a while. As I stated in our last meeting, this has been an extremely odd year for me. With my work changing, it seemed like I never had the time required to do what I wanted or needed to do. I was used to being able to make it to all the classes I wanted to and never had to worry about not being around. This change threw everything off for me and I started to fade away which was not only evident in class but also with my blogging and my participation in meetings and practices. The last meeting helped me a lot as I knew I was not the only one out there that felt the same pressures I did. I freely admit that I am no where near where I need to be and the only one responsible for that is myself. I know that I am just now truly starting my year in the I Ho Chuan which puts me 8 months behind schedule. Will I get to where I should be by the end of this year? Definitely not but if I am making the attempt, I will be a lot closer than if I do the same thing I have for the last 8 months. I have narrowed my focus to working on my forms, going to all the I Ho Chuan practices and classes, ensure I am blogging consistently and working on my fitness and conditioning. I am also committed to being at all the lion/dragon dance practices as there is no better way to feel connected with your teammates than that. Last year, I was in Toronto during the banquet and I feel like I missed out on something special. By actively participating, it will help me to get reconnected with this years I Ho Chuan team. For my final thought, I always wondered what happened to people who seemed to disappear from the I Ho Chuan and now I know because I was one of them. It comes down to a choice and whether or not you want to put the effort into it or something else at any given point throughout the day. For a while there, I didn't feel like I had a choice because of being away or getting home late. I realize now that there is always a choice and 1 minute a day is still better than none.