The End Of The Year

I think we can all agree that it has been a crazy year. There have been some ups and some downs but I feel like it has still been a fairly successful year. The one thing that I did not do was quit training. Even though access to the Kwoon has been very limited this year, this is something I am accustomed to. Everyone is hoping that 2021 will be back to normal, but I think that a lot of the things that have come out of this are something worth keeping. It has allowed us to work on our eye for detail and forced us to train on our own. Training on your own is a great tool that will help to prepare you grading. I do look forward to being back at the Kwoon but I will not be waiting to get back there.

Which Way to Go?

I have been feeling a little frustrated this last couple of week and it may have pushed me to make a decision that may not be deemed as the easy way. I assume we have all been there at some point in our lives (I know I have a few times) and I will probably be there again in the future. So I am forcing myself to relly look at the situation and the impacts of either decision and then make the right choice.

Engagement

A few people have been asking me over the last couple months how I stay engaged with Kung Fu while being away so much. With the shutdowns, people are missing the Kwoon and the connection they have with the other students. Being alone and trying to maintain training is difficult being away for half the time. Being away all the time puts a whole other level on it. There are a multitude of things that keep me engaged and over the past 2.5 years, I have utilized all of them. 1) The online classes have been a huge help to me and I wish we had them when I first started travelling for work. The best thing you can do is attend your classes at a minimum. You should also take advantage of the Tai Chi class and even attend so of the lower ranking classes. Even though you are not there, you can still learn so much. 2) Stay engaged with your fellow classmates. Take part in all the challenges and post on Kwoon Talk. Encourage others and maybe have some fun as well. 3) Utilize the one on ones. These have been a big help to me as it allows me to interact with the students and the questions help me to focus on Kung Fu and my training. They are also a great way to ask for feedback on a specific and then allow you to apply your eye for detail. 4) Find a training buddy who you can connect with. This can be done virtually as anyone can set up a Zoom account. This way, you can support each other as well as practice techniques and over feedback. It will also he3lp hold you accountable for your inactions. 5) Finally, it comes down to mindset. Why did you join Kung Fu? Why do you enjoy Kung Fu? Everyone will have different reasons but remind yourself of why. Remember that this is only temporary and one day we will all be back at the Kwoon again. This reason alone, should be enough to keep you engaged.

Decision Time (Help).

I have been pondering a decision for a while now and have been unsure which way to go. So today I sent out an email to a mentor explaining my decision and adding in why I was leaning that way. I also explained what I wanted to do to still help going forward. In closing, I then asked for their opinion on this as it is important to me what there thoughts on my decision where. The whole point of this, is we can all use help when making important decisions in life so don't be afraid to ask. This can apply in your personal life, your work life and your Kung Fu life. I can't say what will work in your personal or work lifes, but the one on ones are a great resource in your Kung fu life and speaking from an instructors point of view, they help us as well. So again i repeat don't be afraid to ask for help.

Right Place Right Time

Being in the right place at the right time is something I have been thinking about a lot lately. It is something that I apply to my training and I always try to make it to the Kwoon when I can. For me, that is the right place but you never know when it will be the right time. The main reason I try to go when I can, is because with my work schedule and the pandemic, I don't know when I may get another opportunity to go. For example, I made it to our I ho Chuan meeting when I first got back and then open training on the following Saturday. Between spring break, the shutdown and work, I may only make it to the Kwoon 3 or 4 times in this 15 week span (October 12th to January 27th). Life has a way of throwing curve balls at you, but my point is to seize your opportunities when you get them.

First Saturday Back

Saturday was a fantastic day. It was my first day back at the Kwoon where I was able to train. There is something about being there that inspires me to do more. I was also impressed by the people who were there and the things they were working on. The creativity shown with the 5 techniques was something to see and for so many to start working on them now is great. I have said it many times in the past but open training is one of the best rersources available to us. Hope to see more of you next Saturday.

Back Home Soon

Tommorow I am schgeduled to come home again. I don't know why, but this time it feels like it's been a long time even though I have been away for longer. It is probably the weather as it has been reaching -43 already up here. I am also going to be home on my wifes birthday so that is kind of nice. The training has been going well this past couple of weeks and it will be good to continue it at home. See everyone on Thursday (I hope).

Can't Replace It But You Can Try

I am thankful that they have opened the gym up here again as it is allowing me to get some much needed training in. I have developed a consistent schedule while I am away for work and it is finally returning to almost normal again. I find when I am home, the schedule is more chaotic as there are a ton of things to do but my training is more fullfilling. Just being able to attend class or go to open training is something that cant be replaced. But being that I have to be away half the time, I need to keep training anyway I can.

Keep on Moving On

This has definately been the year of unknowns for me as it has been for a lot of people. You can make plans and schedule things but you have to be ready to adapt in a matter of a few hours. For me, my schedule has been changed at work and I am now off what is was by 2 weeks. This means that things I had planned on doing or attending, will not happen. There is positives though, in that I will be able to be part of other things. Frustration and anger would have been the normal reaction for me in the past but not now. I have learned that adaptability and being flexible is a skill I wish I had more of in the younger in life. Now, I just accept what is happening and try to make the best adjustments I can. I am hoping my schedule doesnt change again but if someone tests positive up here, it will be a reality I will be faced with. If it does happen then I will just make the adjustment and keep moving forward.

Back At Work

I finally made it back to work on October 12th. The extra 2 weeks at off was great as I was able to accomplish a lot at home and with my training. It's a good thing I did because I think my time up here this time will be difficult to maintaion any type of training. The site has implemented a mandatory mask policy in all camp areas unless you are eating or in your room. They have also closed the gym for the time being. I am trying to adapt what I do to maintain my fitness but it is proving to be challenging. At least I can still do my pushups and situps in my room. On another note, I dont know how long I will be here for and what the new schedule will be. Nunavut has an overtime averaging policy and since the last crew was up here for 2 extra weeks, they need to modify the schedule to adjust for that. Once again something that I cant control but just have to adapt to.

Beyond Our Control

As many of you may have noticed, I have been around a little longer this time. This is due to thge fact they had a few cases of Covid at the mine so all flights have been delayed until October 12th at the earliest. This means an extra two weeks at home this time. The unfortunate thing about this is my schedule is completely off now and I am not sure when I will be going back and for how long. The other possibility is that there may be no work to go back to. What i have learned over the past few years, is that there are some things beyond our control. They may cause us stress and make us uneasy but you can't let them control your life. I am hoping for the best outcome but preparing for any situation that may occur.

Grading Day

With grading day coming up for the candidates, I am taked back to my grading day. I admit that I was nervous leading up to it and and was not sure what to expect. It turned out to be the best day I had experienced in Kung Fu. You learn a lot about yourself and where you are in your journey. It is a day that I still remember vivdly and something I will never forget. It was exhausting, nerve wracking and ab solutely fantastic. Some advice for you all. Go in there confident and put your best effort in. Don't hold anything back and just enjoy the experience. You are either ready or you are not but lacking confidence means you are definately not.

Taken for Granted

This has been a successful time at home so far. We have completed some projects around the house, I have made a couple of work trips to Calgary and I have made it to Kung Fu classes consistently. I used to take going to class for granted but now it is something that I think about and plan for. The ability to train with people and see how they do something or move is such a valuble resource that should not be wasted. I have learned so much from teaching students it is something I feel I need to do to continue my training. I guess what I am saying is if you can go to class then go. If you have injuries, still go as you can still gain valuable insight even from the sidelines. It has worked for me so far.

Two Schedules One Goal

I will be on my way back home tommorow and I am excited about that. This year has had it's challenges for sure but it has gone better than the last couple. I believe the secret has been sticking with my routine (2 actually - 1 for work and 1 for home). This has allowed me to stay focused and achieve my goals thus far. They are two very different schedules as the work one is mostly working on conditioning and strength training while the home one is more on forms and techniques. The combination of the two is working for me and allowed me to stay focused. It isn't always easy to stay on the path as life can get in the way sometimes, but a slight detour now and then makes the trip more exciting. Another thing I am looking forward to is the start of open training agin. This is one of the tools that helps me the most. Two hours that I can simply devote to Kung Fu. Awesome! Even if I don't get to spend all the time working on what I want, the questions that are asked or the ability to watch someone else do soomething can be very helpful. I just wanted to add that the livestream classes have also been very helpful as it allows me to stay engaged with the classes and know what is going on with everyones training. Awesome tool and glad to hear it will continue on. See everyone Thursday.

Connecting With The Kwoon

I am sorry that I will be missing the Kwoon maintanence week again this year. This is a great chance to get to know the people of Silent River Kung Fu out of class in a more relaxed and comfortable atmosphere. You will feel a real connection with the Kwoon after and you really will enjoy being a part of it. There is no judging, no pressure and you might be suprised and discover a hidden talent or maybe you can yuse your talent. I am not trying to put an ad out for the maintanence week but trying to emphazize how thios will change the way you feel about the Kwoon. It truly does make it feel more like yours and not just a school. Anyway thats what i have to say about that. Dont forget about the awesome potatoe bake after. That is the highlight of the week.

What I Have.

I am looking ahead at my schedule and am disappointed at what I see. If things stay the way they are, I will be away at work for Christmas and New Year's. I am also scheduled to be away from February 2nd to 23rd which means I will not be around for Chinese New Years as it currently stands. If you look at it a certain way, this has been the year of misses. These are the major events I have been away at work for this year. 1) My son's birthday. 2) My birthday. 3) My anniversary. 4) My wife's birthday. This may seem to be not a great situation but it isn't. I am happy to still be working and when I am home, I have more free time than if I was working locally. You also realize what you do miss and that gives you a greater appreciation for what you do have at home. Life is not easy and there are different struggles we all need to deal with but there is no point in being angry at your situation because ultimately it is you who is in control. Just need to figure out how to change my schedule to be at home for Christmas and hopefully the banquet.

Performing In Public

I am back at work now but the time at home was great. I was able to accomplish a lot and also got to enjoy a camping trip. The highlight of the time at home has to be the demo we did for the seniors. It was great to finally be able to test out my form in public as it forced me to really focus on it. Performing in public is the best thing I find for analyzing where you are at. I know that I am still not proficient with the sequence as I forgot some parts. Nevertheless, it was a great day and I now know what I need to focus on.

Vacation

I am enjoying it some time away with family on the banks of the Red Deer River. It has been a whirlwind since I got home with the main focus being getting the renovations at the old Tanarama bay completed. I know that if it wasn’t for everyone who volunteered some of there time, it would not have been completed. It was a lot of fun and something I truly enjoy doing. See you all in about a week.

Ready to Leave

It has been an extremely busy work rotation this time and I am physically and mentally done with being here. Although the time has gone by pretty quickly, emotionally I know its been a long time. I look forward to being home and getting some normalcy back in my life. I also look forward to being able to practice my spear again as it is something I can't do up here.

The time at home will be busy and it always seems to go by much faster than the time at work. Regardless, I can't wait to be in my own house and to be around family and friends because that is what is truly important.

Where Am I (At)?

At last nights I Ho Chuan class, Sifu Brinker asked who thought they were where they should be considering that we are in July. I can honestly say that I feel like I am behind a bit. There are many factors that are behind this but the biggest one for me I feel is the lack of connection and engagement with the team. Being away definitely has its challenges and you feel like you are on the outside looking in. To put it in perspective, so far this year I have made it to one meeting (via Zoom) and been to 2 I Ho Chuan classes in person.

I am not using this as an excuse because I am trying to stay connected as much as I can. I have made sure to read everyone's blogs although sometimes I get behind a bit. I attend online whenever I am away. And i try to keep my online presence up. So what can I do to improve my situation is what I have been thinking about since last night. One, thing is to try and spend more time away practicing my forms (even if its doing small portions when I can or just going through them in my mind. And the other thing I need to do is keep up with my personal blog as it is somewhat chaotic in its schedule right now.

I am excited about finally being able to attend some live classes with this group again just as soon as i am done with this pesky work thing.

4 Weeks At A Time

I am well into my 4 week long work rotation and I am starting to feel it. I have been working away for the past 2 years but doing four weeks at a time is putting a strain on me mentally. There is so many things that can happen in that time and I know I am missing it. I am grateful to still be working during these difficult times but just wish it was closer to home. At least its not snowing up here anymore although there is still snow on the ground. In fact we hit 26 up here yesterday.

The training is still going well but the limited space does not help with the forms especially the spear. I still attend the online classes (until I run out of data that is). I am unable to attend meetings or Tai Chi however as that is when I am at work.

There are a few things I try to focus on when I am at home because that is when I have the space and ability to do so. As long as I keep this in mind I will be okay.

Kwoon Excitement

It's hard to believe that my 4 weeks at home is coming to an end already. The time seems to have gone by so quickly but it has been very successful in my opinion. I have managed to get in some practice with my spear (not a broom handle). I also was able to get in some much needed Tai Chi practice.

There were 2 big things that really helped to boost me up this time. The first one is I got to start teaching some one on ones. Being able to work with students and answer questions has always been one of my greatest tools. It allows me to really think about a technique and why it is done that way. Teaching has always been my favorite part of Kung Fu and I will miss doing it for the next four weeks but look forward to doing it when I get back.

The other big thing is being back at the Kwoon. Even with the restrictions in place, it just felt right to be back there with everyone. You could feel the excitement in and the energy was fantastic. I am glad I was able to be a part of the reopening and look forward to seeing you all again soon. I will still be attending classes but it will be online only for the next little while. Hopefully when I return we will all be able to be on the mats again together.

Back Home

I have been home for a week now and it has been great. It is nice to be around friends and family again even if we are still limited with the amount of contact we have. The one thing that I have noticed, is I seem to be more busy now than I am at work. there are so many things to do when you are gone for so long. The one thing that I am trying to keep in front of me is my training. I am very limited in space at the mine so I need to taker advantage of my opportunities at home. With so many things to do it can get lost in the everyday things so I am trying to spend an hour a day just on Kung Fu. Some days it is a bit below but other days have been above.

Still got a lot of work to do with my spear, but the hand form is progressing nicely.

Why Do I Still Train

This is a question that I really have been thinking about these last few days so I figured I would just write it down and see why.

Kung Fu has been a huge part of my life for over 10 years now but why.

1) I find it is a great way to stay in shape and it motivates me to continue to exercise regularly and to be mindful of my diet.

2) I love learning new techniques and how to use different weapons.

3) It helps improve my flexibility and believe it or not it helps alleviate pain (inflict pain to relieve pain, who knew).

4) Being able to teach other people. This is one of my main reasons for still training as it gives me a true sense of purpose and motivates me to ensure I make every class I can.

5) The other main reason is I have found an area that has caused me to focus on and continuously look at ways to improve. This area has been the combative aspects of sparring, grappling and San Shou. My main focus is not to be able to beat someone up but it analyze a technique and then how it can be adapted if this happens or that happens. Once I started to focus on this area it renewed my passion for Kung Fu and I started to work on all areas as they are all interconnected.

There are more reasons I am sure but I wanted to keep this short. If you are feeling disconnected or have lost your passion, find something to focus on and own it. Try to continuously improve it and it will definitely help.

Update on Training

I am currently half way through a 4 week shift for work. Being away has always been more difficult in the past but this time it feels different. With the classes being on line, I am know able to view them and participate. This has actually kept me more engaged with the school and my training.

The training is going a lot better in the last couple of weeks as I have really focused on my forms and getting the sequence down with my new spear form. I have also worked on my hand form but it still needs more work but space constraints are making it difficult for both.

There are still aspects of my training to work on and I have started to work on more sparring techniques including grappling, san shou and kick boxing. Figured I would take the opportunity to improve some other aspects of my training.

When You Don't Feel Like Doing, What Should You Do.

I had aspirations that this year would be a lot less hectic than last year and hopefully I would be spending more time at home and the Kwoon. So far though, things have not gone to plan. We are 18 weeks into the year and I have been away for 12 of them so far. Once again it has been a struggle to find the space and tine to work on my forms and I have been getting down on myself lately. This has led to some frustration and a little anger at myself.

I have however, found something that helps. Strangest thing is it was I actually started to work on my form. I have been able to start to work through the sequence and am over half done the form in just 3 days. Something that I couldn't seem to do before is actually what was limiting me. Dont get me wrong as there are still challenges. My weapon choice this year is the spear and I am reduced to using a broomstick in a 6 x 6 space with only 8 foot ceilings. There are a few scuffs in the ceiling now but its plywood so quite resilient. I know that once I get home and use an actual spear it will be like starting all over again, but I will have the sequence down and hopefully be able to get the flow and intensity up to par soon.

This is a breakthrough moment I feel like and I my inspiration and commitment are the highest they have been in quite some time.

Opportunity Is There, You Just Need To See It

It has been a whirlwind of activity since I have gotten home. Even though we are limited in where we can go, I have a lot of work I had to catch up on. Six weeks away from home was too long and it has been great to be back. I am getting things done and it has been nice to reconnect with Silent Kung Fu again. I have also been able to get some practice time in at home as well.

I hope everyone is doing well as I know I have struggled with not being able to go to the Kwoon. As I stated before, teaching has been a big part of my training since before I got my black belt and to suddenly stop is not an easy transition to make. I continue to struggle today, but it is something I continue to work on.

On the work front, I am scheduled to go back on the 28th of April for 4 to 6 weeks (unsure of exact timing as it could change while I am there). That means I only have one more week of classes and quality training space so I need to take advantage of it and not waste the opportunity. I am now looking at this challenge as an opportunity instead of a hindrance for that is really what it really is.

Mental vs Physical.

I am not trying to be too negative with this post but it may feel like it.

I feel like I am lost right now. Kung Fu and more specifically the Kwoon has been a big part of my life for many years now. Even though I have been away for work a lot these past couple of years, it was there when I came back. I enjoyed spending time there and training with everyone. Now that training has moved online, I am essentially cut off. Due to internet restrictions up here, I am unable to attend any of the online classes and can only make about 30 minutes of the Black Belt class. Normal classes and the I Ho Chuan class are a no go for me.

I guess what it comes down too is where do I go from here and what can I do to help Silent river Kung Fu. To be honest, I don't have the answers as I have been gone for almost 7 weeks now. The world has changed a lot since I left for work and it is going to be different than how I remember. The big thing for me is to find out what I can do if anything and to do it to the best of my abilities. I believe the biggest challenge for me is that I felt like I had a place in the Kwoon and I was helping the students and that it turn was helping me. This sounds a bit selfish as I read it back and I was going to remove it but I am going to leave it in as it is important to me.

I know there are probably others out there who feel this sense of disconnect as me. I am simply writing this as I have said previously, my journals this year are going to be more focused on the mental aspect because the physical part is the easy one to fix.

Just Do It.

I started this blog by trying to come up with a title and then just start writing from there. This is where it all fell apart as I had a myriad of ideas going through my head but emotion has got the best of me and now I cant focus on anything. To say the least, this has been a crazy few weeks for me and the uncertainty of what is to come is weighing on my mind. I am also concerned for September as she is alone at home, dealing with everything and I can only offer support via texts and one 15 minute phone call a day. Try getting in all your daily conversation with someone in 15 minutes. Think about how you would do it with everyone you know. I have not been able to figure out how yet.

I have missed most of the Covid crisis as I have been away for work for the last 4+ weeks with a total of 22 hours at home. Because of this, I dont know the struggles everyone is faced with on a daily basis. The one thing that I looked forward to was being able to go back to the Kwoon and just be in the moment there. This brought a sense of normalcy back to my life however this will not be happening for a while. The big question is what to do now. Even though I do spend a lot of time away, I always had the opportunity to reconnect but I am unsure how I personally am going to adapt to this situation.

It is easy to say, I can continue to work on things on my own but it is not something that I have actually ever done. I hope that I will be able to overcome this new challenge as many of us probably are. Like Mr. Repay stated in his blog, I know what I need to do I just need to do it. I think this will be my title.

I am currently on the mine site in Nunavut and there is a lot of uncertainty up here as well. Will the mine stay open? What will the schedule change to as they are going to start limiting flights in and out? How long will I be here? All questions that no one has the answer to and no idea when some answers will come.

In all this I am still grateful for what I have and for who I have in my life. No matter what happens with my work, I know that I will be okay. Who I am concerned about is the other people in my life as they are what is truly important. My family, my friends and the people of Silent River Kung Fu.

Selfishness vs Compassion.

I have to admit that this past week or so has been a little crazy for me. It has been crazy busy with work and I haven't been able to even think about what is happening in the world with COVID-19. I have been mostly sheltered from this being at remote works sites and have not seen the mass shortage of supplies that people are facing. There have once again been some really good blogs about this and I sometimes wish there were more people out there that had the compassion that people at Silent River Kung Fu have. I believe the world would be a much better place. I have worried for all the people I care about specifically the elderly ones in my life, but I know that worry will not help anything so I instead have been focusing on being grateful for what I have right now.

I will remain sheltered from this for the next while as I have to go back early to the mine and it looks like I will be gone for 21 days. So in this stretch of 6 weeks I will be spending a total of 23 hours at home. What will the world be like when I get home next time. Who can say but hopefully peoples compassion will take over instead of selfishness.

Value

I was going to write about how my blogs this year are going to be more about the mental aspects of my Kung Fu but I just read Mr. Bjorkquist's blog and I changed my mind (kind of).

I have been focused on reading everyone's blog this year and making sure I comment on it so they know I read it. I was reading Mr. Bjorkquist's blog when I suddenly realized something. People have a lot of similar experiences in life and they feel the same emotions and regrets. The other thing I have noticed is that there is a lot of great advice on how to handle these emotions or situations. They are also preparing me to better handle these things in the future.

What does this mean to me. It means that the thing I was lacking last year was the blogs. I am not saying this because we all have to blog as a requirement but because there is great value in reading them. So the question is why are you not sharing your knowledge with the team like I did last year.

Balance

I am trying to find a balance this year between work, home and training. Last year I struggled with this and my training and home life suffered due to my work life taking over. This year has been similar in that I am still spending more time away than at home but my mindset has changed. I am trying to not let the negative thoughts that plagued me last year creep back in and instead focus on what I can do and when.

As far as my training goes, I am working on visualizing forms when I can and doing micro versions in the limited space I have. I am able to train in the gym in the evenings to work on strength and endurance stuff along with push-ups and sit-ups. And when I am home I go to every class I can. This does not mean I go to every single class as I need to think about my home life as well. instead, I go to the classes where I teach, the black belt class and the I Ho Chuan class whether its mandatory or not. I am also going to as many open training days as I can as well.

The home life is where I find my biggest challenges. I feel this is where I am lacking the most and it should be where I be the most attentive. I feel like I am falling behind in my training so I start to focus my energies there and this is wrong. I need to focus on the stuff away from the Kwoon and work as my family is the most important thing to me and they should not be placed on the back burner.

With this said, I will be there on the mats as much as I can but it may not be as much as I have been there in the past.

Teaching

Last night I had the privilege of working with the black belts on grappling with the focus being on basics. You need to have a different mindset as the focus needs to be more on what they need to look for in the students but to also explain why. I learned a lot last night as the questions were really insightful and this helped me analyze what I am trying to accomplish when I am teaching. If you get the opportunity to instruct a class, do it as you will learn so much more about the technique and why we do it that way. Thank you all for the great class.

Communication

This week I want to talk about my communication skills or more specifically my lack of them. I have a hard time expressing my thoughts and what I am feeling in all aspects of my life. It is something that I am well aware of but also something I have not been able to improve very much. This hinders me in my relationships and in my ability to get assistance when I have a problem.

Last year was a struggle for me as I was away so much and didn't ask for help from the team. I would say that my inability to communicate my struggles led me down a path of failure and ultimately regret. I need to find a way to change my mindset on this and not worry about how foolish I think I look when I need help.

I have already asked Sifu Ryback to help we with my weapon form but I hope that I can ask others for help this year and that they will help hold me accountable for my actions or inactions.

Year Of The Rat

It is the start of a new year, the year of the Rat (which I am). I am looking to change things this year to help me stay more engaged with the team and the school. It looks like I will be continuing with the 2 weeks away - 2 weeks back schedule for the foreseeable future so I must find ways to make sure I am present while I am not there.

The one thing I am ensuring that I do is to read everyone's blogs so I know what they are up to and what there struggles are. I also must blog consistently as it will help me analyze where I am at and what I am struggling with. This sounds easy but I have learned over the past year and a half that it can quickly get away from you.

The scary part is that this year could be as busy and last year was a real challenge for me. I need to find a way to keep up with my training but not sacrifice my time at home when I am home.

Fun fact for you. In 2019 I was away from home 240 days plus another 20 days on trips and 16 day trips to Calgary. That means I was home for 89 days last year. I never really looked at the number until recently. Question is how do you maximize 25% of a year.