Training mindfully.

It finally feels like I am on the road to recovery. The headaches are less frequent and thw dizziness does not comw as often. I have had to change the way I approach my training completely slow things down alot. I still have to be careful on what I do as I have learned certain things still agravate it. You feel good so you try to push yourself and then realize that that was a bad idea. I am at the point where I need to start pushing myself to see where I'm at but to stop before I go to far. Not an easy thing to do as I'm sure everybody in Kung Fu knows.

Sihing Lindstrom

The passing.

I don't normally like to talk about things like this but after reading Mr. Repay's latest blog, I decided to go ahead. This past Saturday was my grandfathers funeral and I had to give the eulogy. Even though I did not spend a lot of time visiting him in the last few years (he lived in BC) it was still tough to get through. Family is a very big part of who I am and the loss of my last granparent was not an easy thing. The fact that it was my last connection to my dad who passed away almost 3 years to the day of my grandfather was especially difficult. The one thing that has helped is being able to go to the Kwoon and to continue to train. It brings a sense of peace to me where I can forget about outside troubles and just live in the moment.

Sihing Lindstrom

Contemplation

I'm not sure if this is the proper title but it's what I'm going with. I am once again on the bench watching class instead of participating and this has become a normal occurence lately. Tonight we have a candidates meeting for all of us who are grading for black belt. I keep thinking about grading day and what I could have done better and was I good enough. There are feelings of anxiety and dissapointment. Dissapointment because I know I could have done better 2 months ago. What I have realized is that I did the best that I could on that day and you cannot change the past. I have accepted whatever comes from this and I will use it to better myself and the people around me.