Contemplation

I'm not sure if this is the proper title but it's what I'm going with. I am once again on the bench watching class instead of participating and this has become a normal occurence lately. Tonight we have a candidates meeting for all of us who are grading for black belt. I keep thinking about grading day and what I could have done better and was I good enough. There are feelings of anxiety and dissapointment. Dissapointment because I know I could have done better 2 months ago. What I have realized is that I did the best that I could on that day and you cannot change the past. I have accepted whatever comes from this and I will use it to better myself and the people around me.