No Sun. Bad Mood.

We are in full winter mode up here now (high today was -22) and it is already affectig my mood. We are also down to under 7 hours of daylight a day and we lose 10 more minutes everyday. It's not just the weather but also that and we still have a lot of restrictions up here to hopefully keep Covid free. This means that the gym is still closed and has been for 3 months now, so I am limited by what I can do in my room with just body weight.

l also injured my shoulder last time I was home so that is not helping either. I'm not sure how, but it is very weak right now and I am unable to do certain things like push ups.

It seems like a lot of reasons not to train but it is actually the opposite of that. I have just modified my training to adapt to my current situation. It is a nice distraction and it helps improve my mood. Nothing like some good old fashioned sweat to make you feel better. It's just to bad its not from the sun.

Life in The North

I wanted to share with you guys a picture of my ocean view. Sifu Cosgrove has nothing on me.

I bet you all wish you could step out of your office and have the view that I do. Right?????

Seriously though it has been a somewhat stressful couple of weeks with the situation at work here. To add to this, the weather has started to turn and has already caused the cancellation of 2 flights this week. Im not sure why I think a about these things because there is nothing I can do to change these facts but sometimes I wish I could.

The training is also down because the gym is closed and we are encouraged to stay in our rooms when we are not working unless it is for meals or the washroons. I am grateful for the livestream classes as it helps me stay engaged and focused on my training even when I can't physically train.

Work Chaos

I didn't really want to write about this but after my first week back I felt it was necessary.

The week before I came back to site, they had a fatality at site here. It was not someone I knew pesonally but I had seen him and talked to him here and there. This really affected me because it was a helicopter incident and I have been on the same helicopter in the past. Thinking about that scared me a little because you really don't know what can happen in life

Once I got here, I started on a big project of shipping waste off site on sea lift. We were working 16 hour days at a minimum for the first 8 days. Hence I was not at any of the classes via Zoom. After than many days you tend to get touchy and you feel angry, irritated and stressed. It was a week of not much happening aftyer work and even for the next 2 days after

If that was not enough, we now have a Covid outbreak on site. there have been 7 positive cases so far and 100 close contacts identified. What this means is all these people are or will be flown out as off today and the remaining ones of us will be tested daily for the next 5 days to confirm we are all good.

A lot of things happening but I am still happy because I am alive and healthy. And I have family and friends that I get to see when I am home or through Zoom when I am not.

See you all soon

Goodbye.

I have been trying to figure out the best way to blog about this but have not come up with a great way to word it so i will just put it out there.

My attendaence and activity level in Kung Fu has been been down the last couple of weeks and it's because of where my mind is at. The day before I came home, I found out my grandmother passed away. So on Thursday I went to her wake and it was a very powerful and emotional experience.

I feel like I need to give some backstory her. My grandfather lost his wife when my mom was 14. He met and married a woman from the Alexis First Nation and moved there when my mom was 21. When I was 9, I spent my entire summer on the Reserve at their place. To say I stuck out was an undersatement, but I was never treated differently and I experienced so many great things. I continued to do this until I was 13.

Jump ahead a few years, we moved to a house that borders the reserve so we could be closer to my Grandfather. I continued to see my friends and spend a lot of time there. As the years went on, my Grandfather passed and i started to lose contact with everyone. I would still see them as my mom gained 2 sisters (my aunts) and hence some neices and nephews but it was not as often.

The wake was a powerful experience because of what they do. The traditional drumming and singing was an emotional experience because you could hear feel the sorrow in the music. The ceremony itself with the peace pipe and the circle was something my brother and I were allowed to take part in. Even though it was a relationship through marriage, we are treated no differently than blood relatives. I will miss her and what she has done to make my life better.

Intensity

We have all been asked or will be asked to define intensity as it relates to Kung Fu. There is no simple answer to this and it will be different for all of us. To me intesity is doing something with a purpose. I am not just going through the motions but I have an objective and a set path on how to get there.

There are a few things you can do to try and fake intensity but there is always one tell. The eyes never lie. You must look where you want to go and don't stare at your oppenent but burn a hole through them with your gaze. You have to believe what you are doing and every strike will obliterate whatever is in your path. Have confidenc in your abilities and the intensity will be there.

Open Training

This Saturday marks the return of Open Training and I can't wait. This is one of the greatest opportunities to learn that there are. I always get so much from the day by not only doing but by watching and answering questions.

My main focus will be my 2 weapon forms as I need to take advantage of the space (and the weapons). The best part is that I don't know where it will go from there and that is what I am looking forward to.

Pick up the Slack

This time, more than ever, I am really looking forward to being home. It has been a long few months and I am really looking forward to doing some Kung Fu where you can actually have a partner. While there are areas in my Kung Fu that have improved in the last 16 months, there are others that I know have fallen off. There needs to be a good balance of all things and I really hope that all the shutdowns are over so these areas can receive some attention now.

I mentioned feeling a disconnect from the team and that is because I dont really see the team that much and if I do it is mostly virtually. I know it is better than it used to be (no zoom) but in person is still the best. I have used this disconnect as an excuse to let some of my weapon form training slip as I dont have access to them up here and I said that's okay. The problem is when I get home I didn't do much there either. This is something I am focusing on starting now and something I must keep in front of me.

See you all next week

Reevaluation

I feel like all my travelling over the past 3 years is starting to wear thin with me. It has been great in a lot of aspects but not so great in others. Even if I could go back in time, i wouldn't. The experiences I have lived and the personal growth I have had are irreplaceable. What I am saying however is that soon I will need to reevaluate my goals and priorities.

As anyone who travels for work can tell you, maintaining and progressing in Kung fu can be challenging. You are on your own and if you lack motivation, you will not progress. I think my progress lately has slowed and this concerns me. It is a warning to me that there are other areas in my life that are almost certainly lacking as well. Hence my decision to evaluate where I am right now and where I want to be in a day, a week, a month etc.....

Ah To Be Punched

Today was my first day back at work so I will miss the full opening of Alberta starting tomorrow. I hope that this (as I assume all of us are) that this time it will stay open and there are no more shutdowns. I look forward to actually be able to spar and grapple again as it will be almost 17 months by the time I get back (as long as things stay open). That is an unbelievable amount of time looking back now.

The next 15 weeks will only see me at the Kwoon for about 4 weeks between my work/travel schedule but I will be there online as much as possible. I look forward to being back and hopefully being able to get hit a few times, literrally.

Excitement

I am, as many of you probably are, crossing my fingers that we will be back to live training next week. I have spoken to Sifu Brinker about this a few times over the past year about the disconnect I have felt. I have tried to be as active as I can online and engaged as much as possible virtually, but not being at the Kwoon and not actively teaching has been a struggle. I always ask what more can I do and have not come up with an answer yet.

I only want to return to the Kwoon if it is safe and we are not at risk of being shut down again. I hope this time it will be for good. I am really looking forward to just being back and being around everyone again. It has been 7 months since I have been there so I am ready.

The Tiger Challenge

The Tiger Challenge is this weekend and once agan I will be away at work. I always dreaded and at the same time loved competing. Why would you love it you may ask and I will tell you. I found it was the best tool at my disposal to focus my training not just with my forms but also with my sparring. Nobody wants to go out there unprepared and the best way to prepare is by practice, practice, practice....

The only thing to make sure is that you are practicing mindfully with the goal to get a little better every time you do something. If you are not keeping this in front of you, you are simply going through the motions and the repetitions are not really serving you.

Good luck to all of you this weekend and remeber to just have fun.

Commitment

This year has been a lot different than I thought it would be. We are still trying to navigate through a pandemic which has continued to affect my work life, my home life and my Kungf Fu. My schedule for my work continues to change and the not knowing what will come next continues to be stressful.

My training has been going okay but I am behind with my weapons forms. As some of you may know, I broke my spear and have not been able to get a suitable replacement yet. For my other form, I am using the Chinese Horse Bench. However, I am struggling with a concept on how I want the form to go. It's not on how to use the bench but more not committing the time to put the motions together.

So what to do? Accept the reality of the situation we are in. Commit the time to work on my forms more. And try to fo=ind a spear instead of saying I'll do it later. Sounds easy enough...

Another Opportunity

I was scheduled to go to another job this coming Saturday for a week in B.C. but I don't know if that is going to happen now. It was announced that B.C. is restricting travelel to essential people only. What i'm doing, they are unsure if it can be classified as essential so I am just waiting for confirmation but it doesn't look good.

I could get angry or upset but what good would it do. It is not going to change anything so I might as well make the most of this opportunity. I have a bunch of work around my house I can do instead and I get to spend some time in my own house. So Yay!

P.S. I am really done with the coronovirus. Like seriously done with it.

Darn Spear.

I am off to a bit of a slow start with my weapons this year as I am not sure which direction to go with them. I have been trying to come up witha drunken spear form which I have been working on for a while now. It is something that I have struggled to formulate a concept in my mind but the good thing is I haven't given up on the idea yet.

I am also trying to come up with 2 weapon forms this year by going back to the Horse bench. this is a wepon I really enjoy and have done it twice in the past. This year I am looking to create something new and unique with this as well so that will also be a challenge.

I will be gone for work for the next while so I will see you all in person in about a month (hopefully).

Good to be Back

Being back at the Kwoon has been a much needed reset for me. Just being back has given me a boost of energy and has added a sense of normality to a crazy year. I am finding that it has not been as difficult to keep the intensity low but the most difficult part has been tryiong to read the class with masks on. You can't see facial expressions and you don't know if people are smiling, crying or wincing in pain. Nevertheless it has been great.

I am going to try to maximize my time here as between spring break and my work, I will not be back to the Kwoon until May 3. Which for me is a normal occurence, hence I try to be there whenever the opportunity arises because you never know when you could be back.

Punched in The Face

I had an interesting and insightful conversation with Sifu Brinker this past week. We discussed a lot of things including the school, teaching and sparring. Silent River Kung Fu has been a huge part of my life for 15 years now but this last year has been tough as I'm sure it was for most of us. The one thing that I want to see is SRKF continue to be here for as long as I can see.

I feel like my Kung Fu has suffered in certain areas because of the lack of teaching opportunities. I find that by teaching, I made great improvements in my own Kung Fu and that has not been the case this last year. There is nothing that could be done about this and I know that but just being able to talk about it was way to feel a sense of relief I guess.

We also talked about sparring and the San Shou class. That was such a great class but it was not sustainable as people lose interest over time. I am hoping we can do another seminar in the future which will be for all experience levels. As he said, sometimes it just feels good to punch or be punched in the facwe. that will be a great day again when that happens.

P.S. We have had 18 of 20 days with high winds and freezing temperatures with 4 whiteout days. I am ready to come home.

The Cold Continues

We have had 4 days straight now of whiteout conditions up here with temperatures hovering around the -75 mark. It's times like these that I ask myself why am I here. I know the reason why, but I question if it is really necessary. The answer is of course yes but sometimes I wonder.

The same can be said about training. I have asked myself why I still train a few times over my Kung Fu journey. And the answer is always because I simply enjoy it. The benefits I get far outweigh any of the negatives there might be.

Speaking of that, the camp has been in standby mode so I have actually got a little extra training in. Bonus

Brrrrrrrrrr!!!

That was my day up here yesterday. Whiteout conditions, you can only see 2 feet in front of you and exposed skin freezes in 2 minutes. Just generally a cold day where even inside has a chill to it.

Why am I posting this? Because I thought it was important to share, that even in these conditions, I was still able to train yesterday. The only thing ever holding you back is yourself.

A New Year

We are officially into the year of the Ox for the I Ho Chuan but it somehow feels different this year. This will be my ninth year in a row on the team and it always felt that there was an end to one year and a start of a new one. But not this time (to me anyway).

I am sure it is due to the extraordinary year we have had last year. With most of my training being done remotely or online, I felt like an outsider observing for most of the year. There were a lot of good things last year and I feel like I actually advanced further in some areas than I normally would have. However with that being said,I am ready to be back at the Kwoon.

Let me be clear that I want to be back but only when it is safe and makes sense. Until that happens I will continue to build on what the year of the Rat gave to me and appreciate the fact that I do have the ability to still train.

Adaptability

If this year has taught me anything, it's how to be adaptable. Instead of a long explanation, the picture below will explain it all.

While filming my form today, this happened. What did I do? I found a substitute weapon and carried on. I believe that this past year has helped me to be able to adapt to any situation even the absurd.

And yes there is a video of it breaking.

Why?

As we come to the end of another year of the I Ho Chuan, I have been thinking about why I still train. The first thing that popped into my head is because I enjoy it. It just makes me feel good about myself and like I am accomplishing something.

There are other reasons as well. It is a great way to stay in shape but it also helps me want to stay in shape. In motivates me to continuosly try to improve which also translates to my world outside of Kung Fu. And the biggest reason, is it allows me to hang around with like minded people and that is truly great.

This has not been an ideal year for training and I don't feel like I have been the best black belt I could be. I always felt there was something more I could be doing but I still haven't figured out what that is yet. Motivation has sometimes started to wane but I decide to focus on just doing and continuously trying to improve.

My goal this past year and carrying into this year is to work on sparring and grappling so when we are able to do this I will hopefully be able to pass on some knowledge to the school. That day that we can train together again will come, but for now I keep researching and working on things as best I can.

Continuing Forward

This work rotation has been one of the more difficult ones for me. The weather has been not great and the lack of sunlight does not help. It also doesnt help that the gym was closed for almost a week when we first arrived until all Covid test results were back. I think that the being away from home for so much this past while is starting to catch up with me. I also miss not being able to train like I want to. With the shutdowns and the work, it has been tough to do what I want. My numbers are good but the lack of space to do the form properly, makes it not feel like I am doing enough.

I am hoping that as the weather improves up here and I can start to do some more training at home outside, I will start to feel better about where I am at. I do feel like I am making progress it is just hampered by circumstances. I think that being on the team this coming year will definitely help me continue heading on the right path.

Year of the Ox

The year 2020 ended on a sad note for me. I will not get into details but it was not something I expected to happen. It was just one of many challenges faced throughout the year. In amongst all of this, I was also considering not being on the team next year. I thought I had justified my decision, but as the more time that went by, the more I had doubts. I had a meeting with Sifu Brinker and we discussed my reasoning’s on why I felt I should not be on the team and the benefits of being on the team. I had already second-guessed my decision and the meeting confirmed it. I will be a member of the team next year. With me being gone so much, this is something I need to stay engaged (which is funny because that was one of the reasons I thought about not staying on). I look forward to spending a year with the Ox team.