Do as I say not as I do!

The Tiger Challenge is tomorrow and I am one of the people who has not signed up to compete. The biggest reason is I have not spent any time working on my forms these past 2 months. I have been trying to let my hands heal and have taken some time off from a lot of my training. I tried to push through in the beginning but think I did more damage and set back to recovery. Although things are better, I feel that if i enter, the quality of my form would not be there and i am not comfortable just performing a form without working hard on perfecting it for display. However on the other hand, performing is one of the requirements I agreed upon when joining the I Ho Chuan. I feel like i am letting my teammates and therefore the entire school down. How can I tell people they should enter and it is the best thing they can do for themselves when I am not doing it myself.

Frustration.

I think i a frustrated with myself mostly. I still have the hand issues but I have finally started to limit what i do so they can heal. If I had done this sooner, my recovery would be a lot farther along. The frustration comes in not being able to do the things I want to and it feels like I am now just drifting along like a piece of space junk. My lack of participation does not only affect me< but it also affects the team. And now the wheels are turning but not sure where to go....